The Second Son

On this gloomy cool and possibly rainy morning a pax of 16 posted to suffer through YHC’s homage to his second son James who turned 7 this week.  Originally a Mother’s Day theme had been planned; however YHC struggled with the marriage of Mother’s Day and exercise and as his son’s birthday arrived this past Thursday he realized a theme was staring him in the face.  As is typical with many second or third children James neither asks for nor gets the same attention as our firstborn, so this workout was about him.

At 6:58 we had two pax roll in hot and ironcially one was Up Early but at his mubblechatter always lightens the load we were glad to see him.  Duece, Mr Roboto and Roll Tide rolled up from their pre-Bear Ruck.  We also had an FNG (Cornfed) so YHC busted out the mission statement and disclamer and we got started with


Abe Vigoda’s x 10 due to my son constantly calling me Old Man

Dancing Bears x 10 due to his love of animals and dancing

Downward Dogs due to his passion for dogs

Goofballs x 20 because this is how he looks when he dances-pure joy, no fear.

Since James loves a game of tag we moseyed to the corner of the big lot for the Thang #1:

Catch Me if You Can-We partnered up and did 4 laps.   The first two laps Pax A does 4 burpees while Pax B runs backwards until Pax A finishes and sprints to catch him then flapjack.  Second two laps were 10 diamond merkins instead of burpees.  Most were sucking wind by 2 laps and all were by the end of 4.

Since James, like most 7 year old boys, loves playing with worms we moseyed over to the side of the building to cool off with a Wall of Worms.  Everyone went Balls to the Wall and then on my command moved left, then right, then down and back up-did another 10 count and we recovered.  Rinse and repeat.

We then moseyed back to the parking lot to incorporate the date of James’s birthday (11th) for Thang #2:  11 rounds of Deconstructed Burpees.

OYO 11 squats, 11 leg thrusts, 11 merkins, 11 more leg thrusts then up and rinse and repeat 10 more times dropping by 1 rep each round.  Around round number 8 YHC realized that the leg thrusts were much more difficult than he thought and told everyone to skip the round of their choice due to “time constraints”.

After a 20 count we moseyed under the shelter for Thang #3:  An Escalator to 7.  James is drawn to an escalator like a moth to a flame and will ride one in a loop until physically removed.  As he turned 7 this seemed to be a good fit.  We did Box Jumps x10, Derkins x 20, Groiners x 30, Imperial Walkers x 40, Squats x 50, Lunges x 60 and LBC’s 70.

We quickly moseyed back to the big lot for Thang #4:  7’s.  We started in one corner with 1 squat jump and then ran halfway to the next corner and did 6 surfer merkins (due to James’s recent experimentation with surfing), then the rest of the way to the next corner for 2 squat jumps, another half run and 5 surfer merkins and so forth until the 7’s were complete.  There was a lot of mublechatter that a surfer merkin was really just a burpee with dizzyness added and i cannot argue the logic.

The pax was gassed and YHC was prepaired to do mary on the spot in the big lot but Ingrown called for a jailbreak so the pax sprinted back to the flag for Mary:

Alpha, Bay City Scissors x 10, Dying Cockroach x 10, and Freddie Mercury’s x 10.

We circled up and sounded off, Cornfed was named and since there were no announcements we closed in prayer.

Thanks to everyone for indulging me-as always it was an honor to lead this group!

John Robert Mattocks


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