As I have said many times – God loves F3! I can only assume many decisions to fartsack this am were due to the torrential downpour around 4:45. However, come 5:15, all clear, ground was softened and just wet enough to keep us cooled down for the beatdown.

A pax of 6 HIMs posted this beautiful am to get their day started with Fitness, Fellowship and Faith. No FNGs, so we jumped straight into:


  • SSH 4CICx20
  • Carrot Pickers 4CICx10
  • Sun Gods 4CICx10, reverso
  • Baseball Stretches
  • Quad Stretches & Pigeon Stretches

The Thang

The music began:

Born to be Alive – perform a Merkin at each ‘Born’

A mosey/amble around the school was on tap for each cycle. The cycle consisted of:

  • 1st Corner: Flying Monkey Humpers 4CICx15
  • 2nd Corner: Box Cutters 4CICx20
  • 3rd Corner: Hydraulic Prisoner Squats 4CICx20
  • 4th Corner: Iron Mikes OYOx20
  • Return to traffic circle

Quick history lesson on the Merkin. The Merkin is not a construct of F3. Rather, the first written record of a Merkin dates back to 1617. A Merkin is a pubic hairpiece. A Merkin was needed for several reasons – one being due to infestations of crabs. After shaving, a prostitute would then utilize a Merkin.

Roxanne – perform a Crab Cake at each ‘Roxanne’

Repeat the cycle.

Tubthumping – perform a Burpee, sans jump, but into a Sumo Squat position

Repeat the cycle.

Born to be Alive – a Pickle Pointer on each ‘Born’ & each ‘Alive’

Stopped short due to time. Counted, named, prayed.

For the record: 49 Merkins; 45 Flying Monkey Humpers; 60 Box Cutters; 60 Hydraulic Prisoner Squats; 60 Iron Mikes; 28 Crab Cakes; 25 Burpees; and a crap load of Pickle Pointers.

Thank you for allowing me to lead!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *